DIY: Disaster Inflicted by You

I am a lazy person by nature. It's reflected in my housekeeping and laundry baskets. When I was a kid my mom used to clean the house every weekend. That was her weekend. I remember I would lay on the living room floor with her and listen to music while she took a quick break. It seemed normal enough. Funny thing is, I was never assigned any chores. That was because I wasn't going to vacuum/dust/do the dishes the way she would so she would rather just do it herself. This was FINE by me! And when she poo poo'd the neighbor down the street for, horror of all horrors, only cleaning when guests were coming I was right there shaking my head in DISGUST! What. A. Slob! HA! I am the neighbor down the street man! You're pretty freakin' special if I clean the house for you! I see a pile of laundry and then I see my book. I choose the book. I see a dirty toilet and then I see Pinterest! I choose the computer. I will be damned if I'm going to spend my weekend cleaning house and it shows. If you know me, you don't expect clutter free stairs and floors you can eat off of. I'm a happy hostess and I love company and I love to cook for you and make you your favorite cocktail but I really don't want to do much more than what makes me happy! This has taken me almost 40 years to admit and be comfortable with. I used to think I'd be a GREAT housewife because I could keep the house clean, make a mean dinner, and then roll around in the sack for the better part of the evening! Well, I have come to terms with the fact that I don't like to clean.....ANYWAY!!!! Some things have changed. Or, rather, I am now honest with myself. My husband on the other LOVES and thinks we both LOVE do-it-yourself home projects. I'm not talking fun little "let's make a shelf out of reclaimed wood" projects. Or "let's turn all of our saved up milk cartons and make super creepy cute ghosts for Halloween!" either! I'm talking "Let's demolish the whole fucking bathroom, with no plan, and redo it in a weekend!"....(or a year. Maybe two.) Our most recent project is the home office. A completely dysfunctional room with shit everywhere! The first step was to get everything out of the office. That was depressing because I felt as though the camera crew from Hoarders: Buried Alive was right around the corner. So now all of our skeletons are out of the proverbial closet and in the hallway, the kid's rooms, the family room, and the living room. Have I mentioned that, although I hate to clean, I also hate a mess. Even more than a mess, I hate chaos. I know, I know. I am a contradiction and that is another thing I and those around me have to accept. The situation is maddening. We have the office down to the bare nothing. No furniture, no flooring, and in some areas no wall! If you've ever done home improvements of this sort you know to add a week to your estimated time frame. Every time you cut, screw, or remove you unearth a whole new project. This little gem was supposed to be done over memorial day weekend. We are still working on it!!! My husband, thank god for this man, had literally put blood, sweat, and a lot of sighs of misery (sorry, no tears. That's me) into this project. He seems tireless and motivated. I can't help the fact that building a barn door, taking down and putting back up dry wall, mudding and taping drywall, wet sanding, texture spraying, painting, laying thin set, laying Schluter-Ditra, laying tile, more painting are a lethal combination to my psyche! But here's the best part! This little blog is coming full circle and I love it when that happens, don't you? The best part is, during all this DIY, I have never been so thankful for a toilet to clean, laundry to be folded, dishes to be washed, or a school project to be done. NEVER have I been so relieved for the distraction! The bottom line is: There are blessings in everything! Dontcha think?